


Unwearyingly

by BatsuGames



Series: BatsuGames General Undertale One Shots [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Help, Trying, patience - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:46:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7558882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatsuGames/pseuds/BatsuGames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were so, so patient with people. Your friends used you as their own therapist. You said nothing and just smiled through it. For months, and months and months on end. You were trying so hard to be normal and strong for them but it seemed there wasn’t much sympathy coming your way.</p><p>But how did your loneliness compare to their deep rooted pain?</p><p>It didn’t.</p><p>You go on unwearyingly.</p><p>...You meet BP and Sans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unwearyingly

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna be editing this because my (not so) perfectionist side wants better experiences for those that read my stuff - and I've seen quite a few of you absolute darlings like quite a few of my writey thingies which, by the by, brings me absolute happiness and satisfaction that I'm doing a half way decent job at being a writer.
> 
> Hopefully it's just that bit better. (If you see any grammar errors, point em out) I edited this and Contracted. Enjoy both!! :D

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

You watched cautiously, hiding your feelings from Jenny as she snarled at you.

 

Jenny got up, slamming hands on the table and growling out, “Like you have any idea how I’m feeling! How it fucking hurts so much! You’re so naïve and happy in your own little place! You don’t get what it’s like. Just stay innocent and happy with your nice loving family, your great circle of friends and your perfect fucking life.” She stormed out, pained and hurting and so angry…

 

You felt tears cloud your eyes and you buried you face into your hands, trying not to cry as your eyes burned with tears and your throat ached.

 

You have to be strong.

 

You dip your head down, sliding fingers through long hair and sighing out haggardly as you held back that full bodied sob that wanted to leave you.

 

Jenny wasn’t the only messed up, hurting friend you had. You really, truly didn’t want to be cruel or mean or whatever other word couldn’t come into your mind at that moment... but, it’s just, trying to connect, to understand and help and to want them to get better... It was fucking hard. Yeah, you had a good life. You had your own place you scrimped and saved for since you were twenty when you'd gotten a job at a lab as a trainee cytologist in America after moving from the UK the instant you graduated university. You now had a good job a few steps of the ladder up because you worked for it and didn’t have shit happening at home like domestic abuse or alcoholic parents, or, like Jenny deplorably had, perverse uncles that-

 

You cut your mind off from it.

 

You didn’t need to have that disgusting horror on you.

 

But it’s like… Your friends thought of you as this innocent little angel that never understood. That if you tried it was just to make yourself feel better that you were helping others because you'd ' _never understand'_. That you were only trying to make yourself feel like a good friend to them. Didn’t they get you loved them unconditionally? That you hated this happening to them? That you wanted to see them succeed as well?

 

That you just wanted them to have a smile on their face _at least_ once a day?

 

Fuck.

 

Sometimes it was like having teen kids that spazzed out and threw out words like ‘I Hate You’ and ‘You Don’t Understand’ at you.

 

And no, you didn’t really understand because it had never happened to you, but you _got that they were in pain_. You wanted to help because you cherished your friends. You didn’t have many in all truthfulness. Jenny was your buddy since you were in nappies, diapers for her, considering she lived in America since she was a ten year old, full of life and hope. You’d been close, visiting Florida several times a year because of family. And each year, you really did see the light in her eyes slowly die. You had never known what to do but make her sweet treats with your… not so good baking skills.

 

(But! In the years since you’d gotten very good!)

 

Because you wanted Jenny to have some sweetness in her life.

 

And that wasn’t a bad thing.

 

You had to tell yourself that.

 

You had to ignore your own hurt that they’d think so lowly of you.

 

You had to ignore the frustration that they didn’t listen to you.

 

You had to-

 

_Clink._

 

-Apparently drink this shot that’s just been placed before you.

 

You peer up at the flaming bartender in exhaustion, lips pursed defensively.

 

Grillby hesitantly pats your shoulder. “I heard what you were talking about.” At your blink and little frown, he continues, “All the lanterns are powered by me and I can hear what goes on if I concentrate via my magic. You seem like you need this. It is on the house.”

 

“Thank you, good sir.” You gave a weak smile, so very grateful for this kindness in your tired state of mind, and look to the shot. It’s a deep red, but somehow flaring so bright at the same time and there’s a shimmery look to it. You pick it up, smelling the cherries that whirled off it with a smile and knocked it back. The shimmering look also somehow translated to a feeling and it pours down your oesophagus so freely and refreshing that you can’t help but smack your lips as it settles in your stomach with the feeling of righteousness suddenly flowing through you. It was momentary, and it made something in your chest relax and strengthen at the same time.

 

Your eyes close to enjoy the moment.

 

It was magnificent.

 

You open your eyes and look up at him, grateful. “It’s wonderful. I… actually really needed that. Thank you.”

 

“The Righteous Gilgamesh.” The flame male paused before he moved away, stating, “There aren’t many humans that are like you. You have been here several times with different friends and not once have you ever talked of yourself. Yet, seemingly, not once has it ever paid off. Part of me wonders if you would give up being so very patient and another larger part of me hopes you never will. You are a great friend. Never doubt that. I can only hope they see it too and that you come here again. Be well.” He left to serve customers at the bar, giving you a smile over his shoulder as you watched him go.

 

You felt your eyes water and your bottom lip wobbled but you clenched your jaw and simply dazed in the feeling that someone took note of how much you were trying, despite your own problems and hang ups, and that you were a good person.

 

No one had said that before.

 

You felt your chest clench, and didn’t notice how the more sensitive monsters in the pub looked over at your heart shining so powerfully in your chest. You smiled to yourself as tears fell. You weren’t someone just trying to butt in on others lives. You were trying to help because you cared. Someone acknowledged that. You got up with confidence, feeling better than you had in quite the few months. You put down a tip for him despite it being free and walked to the door with your chin up high. You stopped before the double doors and turned to the bartender.

 

He was smiling at you when you connected eyes.

 

Your chest clenched and your eyes brightened. “ _Thank you._ ” He really didn’t know how happy you were. You felt your soul metaphorically ringing with joy and the biggest smile ever lit your face up. You wished the utmost protection on this place and this wonderful, _wonderful_ man. Your heart echoed brightly, power pushing out to do something because you were so damn happy that this stranger thought you were worth a small kindness. You didn’t know anything of SOUL or magic, but some small instinct in your wanted to do something.

 

Happiness bubbled in the room as your uncontrolled magic poured out, light blue like the sky and fresh and pure in its intent. For some weird reason you couldn’t understand, you curtseyed to the bartender, whose eyes widened, and you fluidly rose up to leave as the bartender determined something.

 

What incredible people.

 

You wanted the Jenny’s of this world to see that, to admire and adore that sort of thing.

 

You could only unwearyingly push through this.

 

A smile stayed on your face for the rest of the day as you watched the cloud break and blue heavens looked down upon the world once more.

 

For above all of any other trait you had, you were _Patient_.

 

 

\---

 

 

 

Work was easy that day and you were happy to leave on a good note. The day was rainy, but it was light and brushing away humidity and for that you didn’t mind how long the rain lasted. Humidity during nights was the worst when you needed to sleep and you had to fling off covers. You were the type of person that needed a cover on you to sleep, so it doubly sucked. Ah well.

 

Your umbrella protected you as you felt it drop harder on the plastic cover.

 

It wasn’t protecting some monster over there.

 

With a little smile you went over.

 

He seemed to huff as you came over, humming.

 

You ignored it. “Want some cover? I don't have anything to do so I can get you wherever.”

 

The ginger cat monster looked up at you with an irritable look, but you kept the same grin on your face, waiting for him to answer.

 

He stared.

 

You smiled at him, more amused as time went on.

 

Twenty seconds later, he sighed and nodded grouchily. “Fine, let’s go.”

 

You beamed, happy he was going with it. “Where to?” You looped your arm in his, smiling up at him warmly.

 

He seemed to blush but guided the way. “The name’s BP.”

 

“---.” You smile at him, friendly and open before going back to humming some _twenty one pilots_ song as you went. _Heathens_ you believed, for that _Suicide Squad_ film you wanted to see when it came out. A gust of wind blew harshly and you shuddered, moving into the stranger that felt warm and welcoming, a by-product of being monster you supposed, when his tail automatically came up to circle your waist and draw you nearer in protection, making you go red as you looked at him in surprise. “Th-Thank you, BP.”

 

He brushed it off easily. “S’okay. Do it for my family. This way.” He found his way to Grillby’s, making you smile happily and follow. You were good at reading people and new his huffy demeanour hid a kinder side. He looked at you as he opened the door and went in, watching you follow him with a nod of approval. He liked to lead. That was fine, you liked to follow as backup. You weren’t a leader. You were a helper and happy with that. You sat at the bar with him, placing you umbrella into its’ matching cover and put it on the counter, followed by your coat on the bar stool.

 

You sat and talked with Burgerpants, getting to know the cat monster that began to grin more freely with you, especially when Grillby came over and talked to you both, smiling at you. Burgerpants sensed the fact such an experienced monster of centuries of age liked you and was a lot more friendly for it. You enjoyed the next hours of getting to know each other, laughing and joking when you found common likes in South Park and food and, for some strange reason, the dislike of people who didn’t like cheese. You disagreed over the fact you hated bacon (it made you dry heave) and the fact he hated mushrooms (which also made you want to dry heave at the fact he didn’t love them while you could happily eat them every day.) but you both loved olives.

 

A skeleton monster slumped into the seat next to you suddenly, and you sensed he was down.

 

You gave a warm smile, feeling a bit buzzed on the two pints of beer you’d had. “Hey lovely, what’s wrong?”

 

“just a human girl.”

 

Both you and Burgerpants hissed causing him to look up in amusement.

 

“Oh dear.”

 

“Pussy up,” BP said, making you laugh cheerfully and the skeleton to grudgingly grin at you guys.

 

“Burg! No!” You laugh freely. “Hey, whatever it is, you’ll get over it, if not, try harder for what you believe in to change the outcome.”

 

“what if it doesn’t happen anyway?”

 

“Hm, wait around for a bit. But only a short while; have some pride for yourself.” You nod and Burgerpants was nodding along with you. “Better to know you tried and if it doesn’t work out…" You saw the grimace on the cute skeletons face and smiled patiently. "Well, as it’s a person, explain yourself, all your happiness and grievances… and then let it be. If they come back for you, then good, they want to try, if not…” You give a sympathetic smile, shrug and shake your head when he looked pained. “Every person has their own self-worth they need to hold up to. Your happiness also matters. Eventually you’ll either be hurt enough to give up, or your patience will be rewarded. It’s up to you to decide when to draw the line.”

 

“that does sounds good.”

 

You order a drink for the three of you and then remark. “Regret nothing if you follow my advice. However, you yourself will know what to do in the end.” Grillby put a drink down before all three of you and you nod at the bartender in gratefulness, paying with your card. “Have patience, lovely. Surprisingly, it rather works well.”

 

The skeleton looked at you, staring down at your pure light blue heart for a second.

 

Heh heh, as the Patience SOUL, Sans wasn’t surprised by your response.

 

He relaxed in your calming magic for the moment. You were soothing to sit by. He felt himself soften his tensed shoulders. This human girl he was caught up in, she was bright yellow justice like sunflowers and he found it so pretty and his heart was just so attracted – but she had a lot of shit to deal with in her life. It offloaded onto him a lot, her yelling at his jokes that tried to calm her down and only worked half the time. He had his own backed up bullshit to deal with, and sometimes, _sometimes,_ he just needed someone to listen or just push it to the side so he could deal with it by himself.

 

He needed someone that was-

 

His eyes flickered to your blue heart that didn’t have a trickle of any other colour in it, fresh and light and pleasing. So unusual to see, but the stronger SOUL'ed humans always had less in them. He'd yet to see one without any other colour, however, and it was really interesting to see.

 

Patient.

 

Perhaps… you could be his friend?

 

You were wanting to help, he could tell. You listened, you smiled so warmly, you… _cared deeply._

 

He began talking to you, punning sometimes that made you giggle femininely, other times rolling your eyes and other times joining in. BP looked so done with you both, and Grillby was sighing at the two of you, but you smiled or chuckled each time, genuine in your amusement. He watched you accept anything said to you with understanding and comfort when you sensed it was needed. You were soft and warm and he wanted to stay here all night in your splendid serene understanding. He could give like he needed to, just to get some sort of reassurance you acknowledged his life and you would take and allow him to use you.

 

Not in some crude or derogatory way.

 

Hell, as you paid for all the drinks hugged them both and left, promising to be here the same time tomorrow, he found a restless urge in him that couldn’t wait to see you once more.

 

To unload onto your accepting shoulders.

 

He merely wondered how long it was until you collapsed under the wait.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

Several weeks went by as you kept going to Grillby’s, meeting up with your two best friends BP and Sans. Burgerpants had been there less, having started seeing someone and being all lovey-dovey with them, some human woman called Oriana that was cheeky and playful and made BP want to step up and be a better Cat. You were getting closer to Sans for it, who seemed to drown his sorrows more and more each time you saw him.

 

It’d been about nine weeks since you first met him. He’d gotten a job as a scientist as well at some top university (his brain was about ten lightyears faster than yours) in the state and you were very pleased for him, though you sighed, waiting for him to tell you that some other, grander, university had wanted him on. You’d heard it about two weeks ago. Some Ivy League school wanting his brains when he’d done a few journal entries that many renowned scientists the world over had praised from a co-worker gossiping to someone else about some genius skeleton.

 

He’d gotten multiple job offers that would have his splendidly rich and able to care for his Italian specialist chef brother better.

 

Sans hadn’t taken it.

 

He told you two this weeks later.

 

A whole month.

 

You thought you guys were better friends, seeing as you met up near on daily.

 

You’d frowned and rebuked him a little, to your shame. You couldn’t understand why he hadn’t taken it. If he got that job – which would actually be easier than the one already he had – not only would he have more money, he’d be setting a standard for both species – the fact was that the skeleton was a beast when it came to physics, disproving and proving several theories that went over your human biological brain. Monsters would honestly have been more respected in the scientific field if he led it. He’d already admitted he’d gotten a few words of censor from the King for it (which he didn’t respect) and also form a close friend called Alphys (which he really did respect and felt utterly guilty for).

 

“why? why so displeased by me not putting myself out there?”

 

“I guess I’m unhappy about this because you’re incredible in this field, Sans. I want you to succeed, to be so immense that humans couldn’t catch up. I would have wanted you to be so mammoth in ability and knowledge that it would put non-believers and anti-monster to shame.”

 

Sans felt disappointment hit him for some reason. Just… For that?

 

“But also because you’re incredible. You deserve something to make you stand out. When you go poetic over your findings, I’m blown away by you. You’re amazing to me.” You didn’t notice him flare blue as you sipped at your drink and then stare at it. “In all honesty, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. You’re also so humble and lazy that it makes me sigh in exasperation and laugh at how relatable you are. You’re personable and you like dumb jokes-”

 

“I’ll have you know they’re hilarious, thank you very much.”

 

“-and you make people smile." You grin as you go on, making him huff. "I don’t know why you’re having woman troubles still. Sometimes you look so tired when you come in here.” You frown, unhappy with this. “A partner shouldn’t make you like this. You should get to have comfort and smiles away from the stressful world outside your relationship.” Your phone bleeped it’s alarm and you gave a little sigh as you got up, grabbing your coat. You pulled it on as you said, “That’s me up to do a night shift. Sans, please don’t trouble yourself. Get some rest and relaxation where you can. It’s okay to be selfish every now and then. I don’t entirely know what’s going on, but what I know is that you’ve never once been arrogant or self-centred. You deserve better than winding up in a bar drinking like mad until a friend finds you. I want you to be happy.”

 

He said nothing, still blue.

 

“Sans…” You say but he didn’t turn. You sigh, as patient as ever and simply gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. He went bluer and looked at you, wide eyes with smaller than usual eye lights. You smiled and hugged him, enjoying the warmth of his bones and the jerk of surprise at your fond touch. You pull back, holding his shoulders. “Take care of yourself.” A final peck on the forehead and you left.

 

Sans watched you go, as blue as his hoodie.

 

 

\---

 

You left the hospital, feeling down and needing a drink to chill you. Eighteen specimens had been positive for cancer today. That was twice as many as a bad day would have. You did cervical screenings, so the thought of nearly twenty women having cancer in the most private place of a woman’s body was depressing.

 

Your hands buried themselves into the pockets of your winter jacket. It was a week away from Christmas. You really weren’t feeling up to that. You’d done no present buying. You’d had no messages from any friends you helped with their problems about meeting up. You’d sent messages out. Nothing came back the previous five days. It saddened you, making this day worse. Only BP met with you once this week and Sans hadn't been around the whole time. Considering you guys seemed to simply meet up daily at the same time, it didn't occur to any of you to swap numbers.

 

Were you really that bad a friend?

 

You guessed so, huh?

 

Nothing to say elsewise.

 

You stopped in the middle of the street.

 

No.

 

Just be patient.

 

Send another text tomorrow.

 

You nodded to yourself absently in agreement with your mind, even as you realise you had work until Christmas and no one to meet up with in your little apartment. Your flat seemed emptier as days went past. You missed having friends. When your buddies were free or not suffering from depression or having their own problems, they were with other friends.

 

As in not you.

 

Like Jenny was, and Alison and Daniel and… gods the list went on. You were available for them but they didn’t make time for you. You leaned against the wall nearest to you, feeling pathetic and used. No, they were in a tough spot! They deserved patience and understanding, especially so close to Christmas! They were probably lonely and needed all the help they could because Christmas really brought out some damn bad feelings. You were the patient one that would listen and smile when they needed it…

 

Even if they never asked about you or anything you did, even as they deflected to stop from talking about themselves or their therapist appointments or their medication.

 

You deflated, shoulders slumping.

 

Were you really just… not that special?

 

You tried so hard. You were up at nights for them, telling them it’s okay they messaged you at two in the morning and carrying on an hour talk with them to make sure they were okay. And when it ended, another friend with trouble usually texted you, as if it was okay to text you at three in the morning for over three hours, as if you didn’t have a job to do for ten hours for six days of the week.

 

You were exhausted from others leaning on you, but it was okay.

 

You were needed.

 

Yeah…

 

Needed.

 

“hey, ---, you okay?”

 

You jerked up from your knackered state when you saw Sans before you. You gave a grin and nodded, faking normal enthusiasm. “Yes! I was just a little tired from lack of sleep, just me watching too many internet vids on YouTube, is all. Silly me, haha!” You grin and slung your arm around his shoulder, guiding him on as if everything was normal. Making sure he didn't see more of your face to discern your state. “Silly me is all, hey”

 

He grinned at you, not noticing anything as you both walked along, laughing about some joke he made.

 

Yeah.

 

Normal.

 

Hopefully normal could pull you out of your misery.

 

Sometimes you realised the stupidity of your advice.

 

_Normal was easy to fake._

 

People didn’t question, too involved with themselves.

 

_How did the ones who deflect never see the one that helped them also deflect?_

 

So fucked up.

 

‘ _Just ask for help_ ,’ something told you.

 

But, but… but _who the fuck would listen!?_

 

Your friends were all messed up in one way or another – and that was being polite. Your friends had their huge problems, such as sexual assault from a young age, or physical abuse and some of them led onto drug abuse. Sans had major girl troubles. BP was so happy you couldn’t bare bringing him down. Jenny was… getting better but whenever you met up she was only half there and you didn’t want to open up. The others you may talk to were in another country and it wouldn’t be enough.

 

Your problems were pathetic if you compare it, which you knew some friends would.

 

_You’re suffering from loneliness? Seriously? Don’t be so weak. I’ve had to put up with…_

 

Blah. Blah. Blah.

 

Your problems may not be as serious, but you still felt washed ashore with no one to talk to. Sometimes you were scared to take all this talk of deep shit on your shoulders that made you flounder under your calm façade but unable to stop now you’d begun to take it. You also needed to unload and _there was no one._

 

There was no one you felt you could trust to help you, to help cheer you up.

 

So you resigned yourself to simply ignore yourself. There was fulfilment in helping people with your job. There was happiness in drinking with the very few friends you had.

 

That was now.

 

Sans was grinning at you, and you realised your smile wasn’t as there as it should be, so you grinned and replied cheekily, scrounging and scrambling your mind helplessly to find something that would deflect back onto him, “Just wondering what exactly you want to do to your babycakes, sorry bud. You’re a skellie, it’s intriguing.”

 

He went blue, and you mentally pat yourself on the back as he stuttered and barely had a response for that out of the blue question.

 

He went a deeper blue as you opened the door to Grillby’s with a curtsey and a bow of the head.

 

You were glad you deflected anything that could be close to concern from him.

 

Good.

 

You didn’t need the ones that needed you to think you were hurting somehow.

 

 

\---

 

 

Jenny was again spitting fury about something that you tried to logical good advice to, a few months later.

 

“You just don’t understand!”

 

Your patience was fraying, your emotional stability starting to shake.

 

It’d been too long to deal with this.

 

She was about to leave and you couldn’t help it.

 

“ _Sit the FUCK BACK DOWN._ ” You growled through your teeth. She stilled and stared at you before she could stand. “Whoever it is, you have is a fucking good man to keep up with this shit.”

 

“Oh so _I’m_ the one-”

 

“SILENCE.” You hissed out , sneering. “I’m so fucking disappointed by you.”

 

“How about _you_ have _your_ uncle-”

 

“Quiet! I’m not talking about that!” You snapped, eyes locked onto Jenny’s baby blues. “You have your shit to deal with, but I wouldn’t have expected you to take it out on your boyfriend that has stuck by you so long, even as you unfairly douse him with your _spite_ and _bitterness_. And you know it is! You’re so angry you’re pulling it out on people who don’t deserve it! Your man, whoever he is bless his SOUL, has tried to be there. Taking this out on him, day after day after day – you think that doesn’t do something to a person? Or that because you’ve been in so much pain, that it’s okay to mentally _abuse_ another like this?”

 

Jenny looked like she was slapped.

 

You growl out, “ _Oh I’m in so much pain that you can’t be? Oh I’ve gone through so much that my pain far outstrips yours,_ like it’s some fucking challenge, some fucking competition? I’m not telling you to get over your pain like it’s nothing – but I am telling you to watch your fucking words. To not bring others down as well just so you feel better that others wallow in the pain you should do whatever you can to get past your own pain. What, now your _therapist_ isn’t allowed to be angry? Because clearly I'm not your friend with the way you use me to rant at and make _me_ feel like shit about trying to help you.” You spat out when she looked ready to argue, disbelieving you’d be like this to her. “Gods, I can’t believe-” You cut yourself off from being rude and saying ‘ _how up her own arse she was_ ’. That wasn’t you. Yes everyone had their problems, you could be patient. You should be. People needed it. “Jenny. Just… Do whatever. I can’t take you right now.”

 

She looked so tragic with herself. “I’m driving another to go insa-”

 

“Because you are being like this now. It’s nothing to do with your past self.” You snap, again. “Right now, I’m hearing someone whining and right now, I’ve got-”

 

“ _d o n ‘t y o u d a r e t a l k t o h e r l i k e t h i s._ ”

 

You both jerk, Sans standing there and glaring at you fiercely, despite five months of friendship.

 

Pain rippled through you at the thought of him not being on your side.

 

You’ve frayed, and now one of your closest friends was against you.

 

Because you realised he was the boyfriend that put up with shit.

 

And you had the biggest crush on him ever.

 

You stood up, eyes watering pathetically and you grabbed your glass and walked to the end of the bar farthest. You watched from the corner of your eye as Jenny cried into Sans shoulder and then turned away, frustrated and hating yourself. There goes another two friends gone. They were the some of the ones you were closest to. Was it so wrong for you to be hurt and angry as well? Didn’t your pain count for _something?_ Yes she’d had horrible shit happen to her but… How much did her shit have to make you feel so bad?

 

You crossed your arms and leant on the bar, staring at your drink as pain _ached_ from you.

 

A shot appeared before you.

 

It was bright orange, looking like molten lava with the thickness of it. You look up.

 

Grillby gave you a warm smile, accepting you. You felt the tears you held back flood down your cheeks as your throat clogged up. You looked away, ashamed for putting your pain above Jenny’s. She needed to be consoled far more than you di- You melted under Grillby’s hand when he clasped your shoulder in comradery and it let your tears fall freely. He wiped the few tears you allowed to drip, heat sizzling them away. “Do not cry. Be Brave. There is always a sunset and sunrise in your heart.” He moved his hand and grasped the shot glass, pushing the orange shot forward. “Let that Brave new end and beginning happen.”

 

You’d learnt a couple things about SOUL’s and monsters over the months you’d been coming here. “Orange is bravery in humans?”

 

“Indeed. It is magic and will not last, but it will help. Please.” He gestured to the shot before you.

 

You were feeling weak and desolate. A pinch of Bravery and courage would do you well. You look at it and then pick it up and gulp it down. Fiery confidence and the taste of tangy oranges and a zing of cheerfulness awaken you from your moping and self-flagellation. It was thick but delicious and sat in your stomach without you able to ignore it and it’s potent demands to stick up for yourself. You had made your point and you’d stick by it. You would not bow. Let either of them come. You’d argue yourself hoarse and fight yourself free should push come to shove. You suddenly sat up, willing to fight for your words after all the god damned patience you’d given, and then some.

 

Grillby looked on in approval and nodded at you, seeing how your magic blared and shone bright from within you.

 

You smile back with a light in your eyes. “I hope you get your own Brave Heart, Grillby. I want to see you happy with someone there for you by _your_ side seeing as you seem to approve of the ORANGE SOUL mostly.” You smile teasingly.

 

He chuckled from in front of you. “Eventually. For now I will look after my customers, instead of my mate to be.”

 

You stand up, putting some money down for your meal and the shot. Honestly, you’d have given him three times the amount the drink was worth because of his service, but he’d never take it. “You’ll get the best mate for you ever and you’re gonna be so damn besotted with them my teeth will ache.”

 

“I can only hope so, Lady Patience.”

 

You cock your head. “So that’s mine?”

 

“Yes. Patience. An excellent trait. It is so bright and fresh that I am very happy to have you come here,” The barman concurred, cleaning a glass with a rag. “A light, pure, almost fragrant blue. It is lovely to look upon up close.”

 

You smile in gratitude and then stood up. “Thank you, Grillby. You’ve got to be the most wonderful man I’ve met.” You curtsey to him playfully, and then left after he gave a charming bow in reciprocation.

 

The walk home was easy and quiet.

 

You flopped into your bed after changing and doing your ablutions, looking up at the ceiling and turning to your phone.

 

No texts from anyone.

 

You had a great job and a lot of space in your apartment, but, well… Maybe it was best to return to England. No needy friends, no bullshit, and no…

 

You… you finally admitted it to yourself.

 

No depression to take care of.

 

Because after dealing with all of this for a year…

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah you were depressed.

 

And crushing on Sans.

 

Fucking. Badly.

 

\---

 

 

You didn’t visit Grillby’s for months after that. A year in fact. Yes you kept in contact with Grillby and Burgz, but you did not go there for Grillby’s stupendous food or drinks. You didn’t want to see any of your old ‘friends’ and saw the two monsters a couple of times a week outside of their workplace. You did see BP near on every day at the very least while getting to know his to be soulbond Oriana, and you got more in contact with your workmates, getting along with them and becoming good friends, despite being much older than you, in their sixties and fifties. They had a wealth of knowledge and great jokes and willingness to go out. Age didn’t matter to you. These people made you happy and you loved being with them. You were so glad for them being there.

 

But all those desperate ‘friends’ that used you?

 

You dropped all of them.

 

You couldn’t do it to yourself anymore.

 

They didn’t want to help themselves and you had too much life in you to have it drained from their parasitic hold.

 

All that ‘I’ll do better, just stay here’ bullshit that heaped on you, ugh.

 

You almost _blessed_ that breakdown of a night with Sans and his girlfriend.

 

“Wanna go Grillby’s?” BP asked without censor or pushing for the first time in ever.

 

You pause, and then you nod, a lot more confident in yourself.

 

So you ended up there, laughing with your favourite cat monster ever and so happy for him. He was wanting to ask her to soulbond with him very soon and have his kittens, nervous as anything. It was a humungous step for him. He wanted a family. “BP, you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, I want you to have happiness and Ori is fun as anything and you’re so cute together! I can’t see you with anyone else.”

 

“You think so?!” He whimpered, holding onto your upper arms, shaky and hopeful.

 

You grin, “I-”

 

“the lady thinks so bp, can’t deny that.”

 

You still, and turn to your ex-friend. You slowly blinked. “Sans…” You murmur.

 

“so, i’m not with her anymore.” Sans slipped into the seat next to you.

 

"What?"

 

"jenny."

 

Why did your heart flip happily at that?

 

You’d crushed on him a year ago, dated a couple guys since.

 

What even...?

 

And why did he tell you that?

 

Your eyes locked with BP’s, body stiff.

 

The cat monster gave you a wider eyed look.

 

You minutely shook your head and look away.

 

BP sighed to himself and glowered at Sans protectively. “You wanna get the fuck outta here, skeleton?”

 

Sans looked at you, who decidedly didn’t look at him.

 

You, who could be so patient and forgive easily.

 

You didn’t even look at him after his hopeful, honest greeting.

 

He probably deserved it.

 

The skeleton slid from his seat, as even _Grillby_ stared him down and away. “maybe i’ll ketchup with you later.”

 

You said nothing.

 

Sans left and felt like _shit._

 

 

\---

 

 

You came in more regularly over the next bunch of months, and it was during the third year you’d been there that, when Sans tried, you looked at him and responded.

 

“You’re a fucking bastard.”

 

“for a patient person you sure are… heh. i guess the flipside of patience is stubbornness.”

 

You glowered at him, necked your full glass and simply left, pushing the empty glass to him before you went to make him pay for it.

 

Sans cursed himself.

 

Of course you’d think that was insulting.

 

Who wouldn’t?

 

Grillby cleared his throat and double tapped the bar.

 

Sans inwardly cursed and paid his full tab that night just to not have Grillby be pissed off with him.

 

 

\---

 

 

Thirty eight months and you were having a normal conversation with the skeleton.

 

Until he opened his _big fucking gob_.

 

“sorry, for everything, sweetness.”

 

You gave him a hard stare.

 

“seriously, after jenny i was messed up. i.. missed you a lot. hell most of the reason i was with her was because of your advice.”

 

You didn’t know what to feel about that.

 

“not that it’s a bad thing or anything…” He muttered, realising it was a bad branch to go down but fiddling with his ketchup bottle anyway. “i tried.”

 

“S’all we can do.”

 

He looked up, a smidge nervous. “so uh, if i ask you out… and to be mine?”

 

You stilled, staring at your glass of vodka and coke.

 

He wanted to ask you out, after you had a serious crush on him months and months back?!

 

One that admittedly hadn’t left after so damn long either…

 

"Well."

 

Sans felt hope light in his, heart fluttering in need.

 

You had the patience of a saint. “Give it a year. If you feel the same. I’ll be here.”

 

You didn’t have the lack of revenge of a saint though.

 

If he was gonna want to date you, you needed some god damn proof.

 

You got up and left.

 

He watched you go, wanting you.

 

Sans looked down with a sigh and then… was that? He squinted at the napkin and then smirked to himself, relieved. “heh.”

 

It was a phone number.

 

Now how did you do that without him noticing?

 

 

\---

 

 

**_[you still talk to them?]_ **

 

[ _Nah. I honestly left them, months and months ago. I don't need all that anxiety ridden bullshit. It's too much to have multiple people depend on me like that._ ]

 

**[ _good. i don’t want you hurting._ ]**

 

[ _Do you still have that pain in your heart that Jenny never tried to heal?_ ]

 

**[ _no one can fix that. it's always gonna be there, babe. can you deal with that?_ ]**

 

[ _Do you really think I couldn’t, Sans?_ ]

 

**[ _can’t help but think it._ ]**

 

[ _Then I’m letting you know now, I can deal with a lot of shit. I have done since before knowing you. Why do you think people felt okay in using me?_ ]

 

**_[…that’s… i don’t want to use you, but i… uh…]_ **

 

[ _Don’t explain. It’s fine, Sans. I get what you mean._ ]

 

**_[…thank you]_ **

 

\---

 

**_[can’t believe i’ve done it. i’m in another country, learning another language and being so unbelievably respected for my stupid daydreams of physics]_ **

 

[ _What a world we live in, hm? And if it's getting you this, it's not stupid, silly._ ]

 

**[ _i wasn’t sure about being in europe, but amsterdam is a great city. everyone is surprisingly chill with me._ ]**

 

[ _Too high to give a shit, I suppose._ ]

 

**[ _oi._ ]**

 

[ _Don’t see you denying it._ ]

 

**[ _i hate to bring her up but… jenny would have hated me being so far away and having to put up with paps. thanks again for looking after my bro._ ]**

 

[ _You’re welcome, Sans. And of course it's no problem. I may like him more than you at this rate. :P Have fun today! Do a ton of puns!!_ ]

 

**[ _a skele-ton of course._ ]**

 

[ _I swear to fucking god, Sans. That's the worst pun and you always use it._ ]

 

**[ _or to me, worship me whenever, babe ;)_ ]**

 

[… _maybe I will when you come back…_ ]

 

 

\---

 

**_[jaaa, und wo bist du? Bist du jetzt hier?]_ **

 

[ _German isn’t exactly my mother tongue, darling. We’re waiting for you!_ ]

 

**[ _sorry, munich got part of my heart, where are you?_ ]**

 

You grin when you see the skeleton looking at his phone and then scouring the crowd for you. You wave shyly as Papyrus hollers and calls his brother over when he spots you. The shorter skeleton is very eager to get to you, pulling his suitcase over swiftly, almost jogging to get to you both. He is hefted up by his brother into a humungous hug, almost choking, somehow, but his eyes were on you even as he hugged his bro tightly and responded to all the loud cries of how much he was missed.

 

He was let down and he came up to you eagerly.

 

You gave a warm smile. “Hey, S-” You were pulled into a hot kiss and you couldn’t help but fall into it, heat rushing through you and your eyes fluttered close. You could think of nothing but him, of his body against yours and grabbed his hoodie. He tasted so good, felt amazing against you and his heat flared into you delectably. His arms shacked you up against him territorially and his kisses went down your neck, nibbling at your shoulder, making you sigh just that bit too erotically before he gave you another passionate kiss that spun your head. You pulled away first, looking at the white fluff of his hoodie and brushing it away from tickling his face with a fondness in your actions. “Sans.”

 

Sans loved you saying his name like that.

 

“Be mine.” He said formally, making your eyes widened at his seriousness, eye lights locking onto your eyes and not letting you look away. “I can’t think of anyone else for me. You’ve always been there for me and everyone. Please, be mine forever. Five years since I’ve known you and I’ve thought of you everyday. I need you in my arms. I need to wake up to you.”

 

You stared at him and then nod once. “I would love to be yours, Sans.”

 

He grinned widely, adoring you and kissing you once more.

 

Sans utterly loved you and when you got back he was going to ask you to be his forever, his mark to be carried on your body proudly.

 

You would say yes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cranked this out for some angt and sappyness. Enjoy? Then Kudos and leave a comment! Wanna critique; comment! I will look forward to hearing from you x


End file.
